Before you think I'm heartless, I've never hurt an animal; I just don't like them. Don't judge me too hard on this - it's hard for a girl with a touch sensory issue who has bad allergies and a debilitating phobia of snakes. I will look at your pet. I will ooh and ahh in a polite manner. I may ever reach down and touch it once or twice. But don't expect me to actually like it. I'll probably go home to my pet-free home and think bad thoughts about the animal you own.
You can call me bad names if you want, but I really can't help it. I just don't have an animal instinct. I have an amazing motherly instinct, and I've won awards for my natural ways with children, but I really prefer tiny humans to tiny other species, and that's just how I am.
So, naturally, I bought a dog this weekend! "What!" you may shout at me. 'She's going to be the worst animal owner ever,' you're probably thinking. Well, you're wrong. I have fallen in love with a tiny Malti Poo, and he happens to be the second dog to have ever won my heart.
My mom's dog, Max, is a Cockapoo, and he's the most amazing creature ever. I mean it. You may think your dog is great, but Max would kick your dog's butt in an awesome contest. Max has never chewed a single thing. Ever. Max potty-trained in three days. If you told Max to stay in a certain place, he'd still be there ten hours later if you didn't tell him to move. Max waits to get on the couch until you give him permission, and the couch is the only furniture in the house he will jump on. Do you want to eat with Max snuggling next to you? Go ahead, he won't even try to get your food. He's the most perfect dog on the planet. He's so perfect, in fact, that Max sleeps with me whenever I am at my Mom's house. I can't stand to be on the couch without Max by my side. If Max isn't listening to me talk to myself, I get all sad and depressed until he licks away my tears (just kidding, Max would never lick anyone in the face...unless you wanted him to, in which case he would do it, because he's awesome).
I miss Max so much when he's not around. I get so lonely, and not even my boyfriend can cure my yearning for that little fluff ball to be snuggled in my lap (boyfriends do NOT make good lap dogs). I've been even lonlier for a snuggle companion since acquiring mono, so last Friday I impulsively decided that I was going to get a dog after work. Many phone calls, a long drive, and a very large amount of cash later, I found myself wandering through Petsmart with a tiny white ball of fur in my arms.
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| I love these two dogs so much that I even can't believe it. |
Charlie has instantly captured my heart. It's hard not to compare him to Max, especially since I gave the breeder a picture of Max and asked for a dog that would look just like him, but Charlie is his own quirky little self that makes me giggle at everything he does. The poor little guy is so clumsy, and I swear he's so round that he just rolls everywhere, especially when he runs into things because he never looks where he is going.
Even though I have no idea what I'm doing with a dog, my background in Behavior Analysis has somewhat trained me in dealing with animals. It's definitely not like being with a human baby, but I have to admit, the poop that I accidentally smeared into the carpet with the vacuum cleaner didn't make me nearly as mad as I thought it would.
No, I'm still not a dog person, or an animal person, but never say never. I don't think anyone ever thought I would own a dog, especially one that I had to pay for myself, but here I am, clueless and happy. Maybe you people out there with pets aren't so bad after all.
And for all you "pet people", if you have any advice for me, I'll gladly take it!
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